Mirror, mirror

Insecurity is a curious thing.

I think I'm past it so often until every now again again, it rears it's ugly head and then I kick into over-thinking mode and the moment is lost. This train of though came about when I was getting ready to go out the other night. And it got me thinking...where does this uncertainty come from? Why do I need validation on the way I look from people I already know love me well.

The answer is, I honestly don't know where it comes from. Some is definitely passed down from my mother. I love her to death and can appreciate her more now being an adult, but the dialogue of 'I'm stupid', 'I look fat', etc etc about herself has had an effect on me.

I think people carry a little of their teenage selves around, and it's not until you giggle at a fart joke or you're required to make a grand entrance in a room full of judgement that you realise.

A pinch has to come from the stereotypes and demands society asks of us. You know what I mean, they're those sentences that are going around in your (my) head right now. 'I can't believe she's wearing that.' or 'Why would someone like him, be with someone like her'.

And the rest I guess I can only pin on myself on my own (high) expectations.

Is it insecure to want people to compliment you? Should you have enough confidence in yourself and your abilities within the fashion realm to know you look good and never need to hear it? I'm not fishing for compliments here, promise! This is actually a serious question for me.

Should you expect your partner/best friend/whoever you're hanging out with for that night, to let you know if you look good? Or are compliments not required amongst those you're truly close with?

Super Duper (otherwise known as Awe-summ)

The beautiful Cinta over at One Little Acorn (seriously love all the creative stuff this girl gets up to) has decreed that I'm awe-summ! Isn't that a nice way to start your day?

Well, that means I need to toot my own horn here and list 7 things that make me Awe-summ. So, let's get tooting;

1) I bring the energy. I spend my days bouncing, laughing, smiling and passing this on to everyone around me. While it's been a little on the lower side recently, it's pretty much what I'm known for.

2) I'm always thinking of new ways to have fun, new games to play, new ways to entertain me and my friends.

3) I like to think I'm a good friend. I listen, support, I advise, take a hint when required. I am fiercely loyal to my friends, if you cross them you incur the wrath of Amy. You've been warned.

4) I'm willing to give just about anything a go. While I don't like sucking at stuff, I will at least try it. Running, rowing, singing, plays, dancing, bowling, rock band, housework...the list is endless.

5) I introduce my friends to new things that I think they'd like. AKA Twilight, Stardust, chick flicks.

6) I love completely. Friends and family have put up with this for a while now, it's my boy who probably cops it the most though. I love being in love, I enjoy that bond and that closeness, and I like to do whatever I can to make it better. For better or worse, no matter how much it's hurt before, there is no holding back.

7) When I put my mind to it, I can do anything. And I will pretty much always follow through.

So there you have it, some serious self-loving. I have to say, seven is a lot of nice things to write about yourself, I was struggling at the end there. Although, if you'd ask me to write about 7 things I think I'm bad at or I dislike about myself, that list would come rather easily.
Why is it we're all so quick to be negative about ourselves?

Well, I'm am passing the positive torch to you out there, so indulge yourself and follow the rules;

* Chica
* Nic
* Brandy
* Amy

Below are the rules and guidelines to the Awe-summm award:

* List 7 things that make you Awe-Summm and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love.

* Make sure to tag your recipients and let them know they have won!

* And finally link back to the blogger that tagged you.

Happily ever after

The wedding was beautiful. In case you can't tell by the self centred and slightly neurotic tone of the previous post, I was feeling a little insecure about the whole weekend. As soon as I arrived at the Bride to be's house for drinks, dinner and a sleep over, all of that left.

I've been friend's with Georgie since we were in kindergarten. Which means that I've seen all of her brothers grow up, I was a regular at dinner for many years, and her parents feel like an extension of my family. Her dad was bursting with pride. I was standing with him on the Friday night, enjoying a drink, when he looked at his daughter as she greeted more guests and commented on how happy she looked. It was true, the smile never left her face! It was a really beautiful moment.

Getting ready the next day was great fun. We were up before the sun for the hair and make up routine. See below, me with the bride, hair done sans make up.



The result was well worth it though...I think.


It was so much fun being in the wedding party. Our main job was to keep Georgie calm, although she was really good anyway. Oh, and to find new ways to make her smile and laugh for the photos.
I have to admit, walking down the aisle was a little nerve racking, everyone standing and staring! My brother, niece, aunty and nan were at the church to check us (me) out, my brother even took a mini video on his phone of me walking.

The photos were great fun. We were whisked off to the beach to have fun in the sand, the boys in the bridal party were all really lovely and we conspired against the happy couple, yelling all sorts of inappropriate things. I'm sure they appreciated it though because their photos will be amazing!

The best part of the day was the dancing! I was getting a little emotional during the reception as I was surrounded by so many girls from high school that I didn't particularly like. It was quite intimidating actually, and I like to think I don't get intimidated too often. So my beautiful boy grabbed my hand and pulled me on to the dance floor. With a wicked grin he had me laughing in seconds and I think we were up for about 5 songs in a row. It was exactly what I needed and set the tone for the rest of the night.

So, wedding update over. It was a beautiful weekend, filled with love, tears and laughter. I feel very privileged to have been a part of it.