Insecurity is a curious thing.
I think I'm past it so often until every now again again, it rears it's ugly head and then I kick into over-thinking mode and the moment is lost. This train of though came about when I was getting ready to go out the other night. And it got me thinking...where does this uncertainty come from? Why do I need validation on the way I look from people I already know love me well.
The answer is, I honestly don't know where it comes from. Some is definitely passed down from my mother. I love her to death and can appreciate her more now being an adult, but the dialogue of 'I'm stupid', 'I look fat', etc etc about herself has had an effect on me.
I think people carry a little of their teenage selves around, and it's not until you giggle at a fart joke or you're required to make a grand entrance in a room full of judgement that you realise.
A pinch has to come from the stereotypes and demands society asks of us. You know what I mean, they're those sentences that are going around in your (my) head right now. 'I can't believe she's wearing that.' or 'Why would someone like him, be with someone like her'.
And the rest I guess I can only pin on myself on my own (high) expectations.
Is it insecure to want people to compliment you? Should you have enough confidence in yourself and your abilities within the fashion realm to know you look good and never need to hear it? I'm not fishing for compliments here, promise! This is actually a serious question for me.
Should you expect your partner/best friend/whoever you're hanging out with for that night, to let you know if you look good? Or are compliments not required amongst those you're truly close with?
1 comments:
I struggle with the whole "why is he with her" junk too. Because I tend to date guys older than me, I have a chip on my shoulder about the assumptions I sometimes feel certain people are making in their own heads. But I know the truth.
Anyway...
As far as friends go, I'd say yes, they should compliment. I think about my close friends and one of the things I love about those friendships is that we're honest with each other. When we look good, we compliment. When we look like shit, we offer assistance. It's taken me a long time to find friends like that.
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