4 sleeps!

Right now, I am not a nice person. I may have the appearance of niceness, but don't be fooled! I am a woman on the edge.

I am about 4 weeks overdue for my yearly holiday. This time for the last two years I would normally be sitting by a pool in blistering heat with my biggest decision for the day being which end of the cocktail menu to start at. Sadly, this year this is not the case.

We bought a house at the start of this year. It's amazing, and I love it very much. But with it comes all sorts of grown things like responsibility and sometimes, a little stress. So it was with a little sadness that we made the grown up decision not to spend two weeks in paradise this year. And right now, that seems like such a crappy decision.

But alas, all is not lost. In four sleeps it will be me, the boy and the open road. We're embarking on a two week road trip, just the two of us for the first time in 3 years. We're heading north to wine country, then will detour to see my folks, then will make our way slowly south again. It may not be the tropical wonderland that is Bali, but I'm pretty sure we'll have an awesome time.

Only 3.5 more work days to get through. I can do it!

Mixed emotions

My head and my home have been places full of emotions since the start of last week.

At the start of last week I was told that even though I'd been offered my coaching job for next year, they kinda took another applicant and they're now going with him. So yeah, thanks for everything you've done this year. You were amazing, you did so much, more than expected, and this is the only year we've never had a complaint. But we're going with someone else.

Awesome.

Then on Friday news filtered through that a friend of ours from Bali had passed away. He was a beautiful man with an incredible spirit and a love for music and life that you could feel. We met him on our first trip and caught up with him many times, we loved to listen to him play. We had decided that he would play at our wedding, whether we'd get married there or fly him over here. He had small children and a loving wife. So sad.

Saturday was Grand Final day for my club and we had 3 teams in contention. All 3 won. This was a bitter sweet day as I wasn't quite sure how to feel. But I was there to support, I had my ribbons and pom poms and I yelled as best I could. We went back to the club to further celebrate. It was a fun night for all it was a little uncomfortable.

We were woken in the wee hours of Sunday morning to the tragic news that one of our friends had been killed in an accident at the club. It was only a few hours after we'd left and everyone had been in a great mood. But there had been a minor scuffle and he went down and never got up. His wife was one of the girls I coached and good friends of hours had to console her as the police gave her the news no one ever wants to receive. We woke later Sunday feeling a little numb and unsure of what the day would bring.

With two examples in a little over 24 hours of how quickly lives can be changed, I am thanking every divine being that I am still here and surrounded by those I love.

Top 5 Friday

This is something we've started doing at work to pass the last few hours of a Friday afternoon. It gets you thinking and certainly sparks some healthy debate. Of cours,e the debates are no where near work related, does that matter?

My top 5 celebrity crushes.

1. Need I say more?


2. From back in Alias days, I would love him to be my handler.


3. Good Will hunting was good, but the Bourne series was much better. Love those arms.


4. An Aussie, but a hot Aussie.


5. And finally, my local crush. Actually met him and have a pic with him. Sigh...


Ok, so stop drooling and back to work. Feel free to let me know your top 5!

I wish I was here...

The pull to travel is increasing in me, and looking through old photos does nothing to aid my resistence. We've been invited to a friend's wedding in norway next year, I think we should take a few side trips. Slovenia anyone?

Reasons

I'm a big believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason. While sometimes I don't think I'll ever understand the reason, I'm still pretty darn sure that events in my life don't just happen and then merrily skip off. There is some purpose to them.

And so when I was sitting on Facebook last night, just a quick check before bedtime, and a convo popped up from my best friend from high school, I was stoked. Just last weekend I ran into a mutual acquaintance (who tried to pick me up???) and we were talking about her. Completely random how these things happen. I have been thinking about her recently and realising how much I've missed her, it was a beautiful reminder that things are never really gone from your life, they just go missing for a time.

I was thinking about the reasons thing when another friend of mine told me how she nearly broke her hip (how very 85 year old of her!) when she fell on concrete the other day. This friend has been on a long and winding fertility journey and I couldn't help but hope maybe the fall might bump something back into place and she'll have happy news to share soon? Entirely illogical, but wouldn't that be really cool?

For better or for worse, I need to believe that there is purpose in the randomness, that there is method in the madness. It's what I need to keep myself sane. After all, if I hadn't have been hired for my first grown up job, I would never have met him...

Same old, same old

I was chatting to my mum on the way home from work last night and mentioned that another couple we know has just announced their engagement. That's 3 announcements in the last 5 months! And here I was thinking that after our manic wedding run of 08/09, we were nearly done. Yeah...not so much.

Within the first few months of being with him, I was fortunate enough to score an invite to one of his friend's weddings. It was a beautiful day and I felt very privileged to be there considering I was only very new on the scene. It turned out to be a good decision I guess, as we're now all great friends!
But I remember thinking how special and how much fun weddings were. The dressing up, the anticipation of waiting for the bride, the fun of the pub in between and then the good times at the reception afterwards.

All of the weddings I've been lucky enough to attend of be involved in have been incredible days, but there is a sigh that escapes now when we hear about the next one, and I know that's wrong. I'm really, really happy for those who have decided to take the plunge, it's just in my selfish way there's a lot to do as a guest these days! Find another dress to wear, buy the present, organise transport/accommodation and then there's the weddings that occur mid-season and I have to rush from the court to the church in record time.

Listen to me whinging about being too social, it's really wrong I know. Maybe this is a sign I need to pull back on all of the other things I do so that when these special occasions come up, I hit them with the right amount of enthusiasm. Thoughts?
See? Correct level of enthusiasm...

Hoping and Wishing

Has there ever been something that you want so badly, but you can't tell anyone about it?

A friend of mine confessed something to me this week that she has been reluctant to share before. I understand that reluctance too. Once you verbalise a thought, or a wish, you can't take it back. You can try but we've all seen the implications of that before. You could adapt what you said or even play it down, but it's always obvious, at least to those who know you well, when you are speaking the total truth.

And so it was with resigned reluctance that my friend unloaded her deepest wish on me this week. She selected me as I'm a little removed from her usual circle and therefore guaranteed her a small amount of secrecy.

It was lovely to be trusted with something that is clearly so important to her. But at the same time my heart ached. Although I knew that what she was telling me was something that would happen within it's own time, I also knew that no matter how much she wished for it, there's nothing that she or I can do to bring it to pass.

While there are others who could make this wish a reality, it's not up to me tor her to influence, it's truly something that can only happen when everyone is ready to move forward.

So, I'm writing this post to enable her wish to be out there in spirit. People say that if there's something that you really want, you should think about it, and talk about it and it will come to you. Because I'm not really sure that everything your heart wants should be broadcast publicly, I've tried to do it as subtely as I can.

If you read this and you know what it's like to hold a wish in your heart, please send positive thoughts this way.